How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
