We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
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i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
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Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?