I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
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My vagina supports interfraternal relations
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
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Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed