You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.