the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Can you bring me the toilet please
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
