Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize