i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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