Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
