Where is the hickey?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
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