you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
