you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
