I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
