i just wanna soil my oats bro
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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