Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
