it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Randomize
