All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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