It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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