I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize