I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Just high enough for therapy.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
