Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
you traded sex for a burrito?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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