are you still at the devil's house?
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
