I wannas sexs uuuuu
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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