It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
