Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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