I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize