Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Randomize
