I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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