I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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