Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
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