I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
