I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Green mimosas i think yes
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize