Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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