You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
