Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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