Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
