Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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