so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
You pole danced in your parka.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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