Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Text me some of your sweat
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
