dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
are you so shy because you have an std?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
