I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
