I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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