Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
