You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
