so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
