He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Why are your pants in the freezer?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
