Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
