I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
