I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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