it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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