One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
