I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
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