so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
