I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
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They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
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New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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