Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
now i know why i became what i already was.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize