What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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