it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
