I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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