There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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