I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize