dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
