shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
it glows. i had to have it.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
